Today we had our follow-up fetal echo cardiogram at UCI. I'm not sure why, but last night I was filled with anxiety about it...and it continued until we were done this morning. To update on the background, we asked for a fetal echo because of Jack's heart defect. We just wanted to be as prepared as possible if something was wrong...so three weeks ago, we did our L2 Ultrasound and fetal echo. After five perinatologists searched, they weren't sure for the longest time if they saw a VSD or if it was a shadow. After moving me to my side, they finally agreed that there was nothing there...it looked fine....BUT, please come back in 3-4 weeks for a follow-up when the baby is a little bigger. Fast forward to today. New perinatologist...thorough as could be...her colleague walked in for part of it and told me she didn't think a heart had ever been analyzed that thoroughly...and the end result was that she saw nothing and is 100% sure that there is no major heart defect. This, you would think, would make me feel better, and it does, somewhat...BUT, I constantly have all of the mistakes made while I was pregnant with Jack running through the back of my mind, and it makes me anxious. SO, I have two choices: Accept that which I have no control over and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy OR get the amnio to know for sure and have peace of mind, one way or another, for a more relaxed third trimester...decisions,decisions...